I Don't Need a Vacation
We sat talking, anxiously, about our upcoming trip. We discussed in detail, how wonderful it would be to get away from it all, and to finally have a moment to relax. He chattered on about his desire to perhaps rent a boat for the day, and get some fishing time in. I envisioned a couple of lazy mornings. Waking up to the sounds of birds and warm sunshine, as opposed to a blaring alarm clock. We discussed our itinerary at length, touching upon everything from the hotel at which we were staying, to the new Italian restaurant that we wanted to try. We did all of this, even as I checked my work email, and he ironed his clothes for his job. Time was the enemy, as we both kissed each other goodbye. I, on the way to my job, and him getting ready for his. It would be another twelve hours before we’d see each other again.
The drive along the turnpike was predictable. Three accidents, one stalled car on the side of the road, and a multitude of people who apparently, had no clue on how to use their turn signal. Thirty-five minutes from my front door to my job. Thirty-five minutes of me cussing like a sailor at every idiot who cuts me off, then dodging the weary truck drivers swerving into my lane. Thirty-five minutes of my phone beeping, chiming and vibrating, with each new message and update. Thirty-five minutes of me, counting down the hours until I endure this hellish commute again on the way back home.
As I pull into the parking lot, I’m lucky enough to find a space under the big palm tree off in the corner. The shade it provided in the afternoon, would keep my car somewhat cool during the day. After I turn off the engine, I sit for a moment. Reflecting on the previous day, preparing for the current one. I do this mind psyche thing, where I ‘get pumped’ for work. Or rather, as pumped as I can be at this ungodly hour. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Dear Lord, I can’t wait to go away this weekend!!! I glance at my phone, (an addictive habit) and check my Facebook notifications. Happy Birthday, nonsense, in poor taste, duck face selfies, delicious looking dinner, injustice, cute cat. I’m just about to logoff when a message catches my eye. “Build a life you don’t need a vacation from.” The wording was plain, yet poignant.
Here I was, every few weeks planning my new escape, instead of my newest adventure. Cramming quality time with my family into a few exhausted hours before bedtime, while giving my freshest, most devoted hours to a time clock. Providing stellar customer service to total strangers, yet being frustrated and bitchy to those closest to me. Well, I’ve decided that enough is enough. I do indeed want to live a life that I don’t need to escape from. A life that doesn’t have me marking days off my calendar in anticipation of good things to come. I want to live in the NOW. I want to make good on my life NOW, because tomorrow is not promised to me. I want to selfishly enjoy this World, and all that it has to offer in the present. Because I can. Because I will. Stay tuned.....